Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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