Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
