do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
