He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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