Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
