my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
