even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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