I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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