I cannot find my penis.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
