I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
