i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
