did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
