How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
