Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The best revenge is premature balding
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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