We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if only i could text you this smell
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
