Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
