I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
