I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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