i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
