Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
