College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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