What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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