I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
