Hey man sorry I got all grabby
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
