I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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