He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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