This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
