haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
