What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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