super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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