I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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