My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
