420 ftw
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
