Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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