Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
