i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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