Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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