You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
