Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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