I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
