I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
