apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You don't make any sense
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