so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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