yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
