im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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