Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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