Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize