I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
