Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
