tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
