i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
