she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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