Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
